by Bia Bliss
When we are little, we learn from parents, teachers, church, media and other groups. We are like sponges. When it comes to emotions, if we are too happy, we are told to calm down. If we are sad, we are told to suck it up.
Have you observed when children are happy they are ecstatic?! They giggle, they make loud pitch noises, they move their arms and body a lot! In turn, what do adults do? They tell them to control themselves, to calm down, to keep quiet… On the other hand, if a child is expressing emotions, such as sadness or anger, they are told to stop, to suck it up. Does any of that sound familiar?
Over time, children learn how to “behave” according to society’s expectations and they conform.For boys it is even worse. When they are young, they are told that boys don’t cry. They should be strong, tough. Any deviation of that is a sign of weakness and some boys were ridiculed, made fun of for expressing their emotions.
Fast forward to adulthood… Adults are not very good at expressing their emotions. The modern day way to deal with emotions is by ignoring them, numbing them. Keeping busy, resorting to some sort of addiction to soothe the pain. This provides comfort in the short-term, but causes even more damage in the long term.
Most people are not even aware that the reason why they do what they do. This is because their emotional body is clogged up. Emotions need to be released. Preferably they should be expressed in the moment, so they don’t get stuck in the body, like young children do.
Unfortunately for 99.9999% of the population, this is not the case. Emotions get bottled up, and have nowhere to go. It’s like building a wall in a flowing river. Eventually it will overflow. The water needs to go somewhere. Emotions are the same. Emotion means energy-in-motion. Eventually the body runs out of space to store these suppressed emotions. Like a river, it has to move. If it doesn’t, eventually there will be an emotional crisis. Also that’s when physical issues begin to appear. Chronic pain, disease, illness, sexual dysfunctions, among others.
Most people live in their heads, and they use the body as a mode of transport for the head to move around. Even simple breathing exercises can be challenging and for many people, they feel pain in the chest. They are unable to focus on the breath, and to feel their body. Think about this: If there is no connection between body and mind, how does one expect them to communicate and achieve the expected results, when there is no bridge to cross?
As a holistic practitioner, many clients find their way to me because their sexuality and sex life in general is not up to their standards. Carl Jung said “What you resist, persists”. When you avoid dealing with your emotional body, you are rejecting a part of you. When a part of you is rejected, people try to overcompensate in other ways. But the body gets fed up with being avoided, and eventually it will get your attention.
When you learn to give yourself permission to feel your emotions, you will release the emotional baggage your body has been carrying for years. It opens up space for more joy, pleasure and sensation to come through. In turn, life opens up, stress levels go down, and life becomes more pleasurable, in and out of the bedroom.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What am I resisting in my life?
- How do I express my emotions?
- When was the last time I expressed my emotions in a healthy way?
- When was the last time you have allowed another person to witness you in a vulnerable state?
The emotional body is the gateway to pleasure and freedom. If you feel that life is weighing you down, it is time to look inside, and release the emotional baggage from the past.
If you need support to do that, get in touch.
