As a sexologist and former professional escort, I have heard first-hand about the silent struggle of thousands of men, the shame, guilt and the negative impact that porn has on their life, pleasure and relationships.
If you can resonate, and feel like porn is taking control of your life, or if this is the only way you know how to release stress…
I want you to know that you are not alone.
You’ve been unconsciously training your brain and body to respond to p.or.n for years, or even decades.
And this keeps you stuck in a downward spiral, where you need even more intense stimulation, only to get the same result as before.
The good news is there is nothing wrong with you!
The same way you’ve trained your brain and body to respond to porn, only to feel shame afterwards, IS the same way that you can untrain it!
So what can you do?
Next time you tell yourself you won’t use porn, and your willpower is not enough, try the following:
1. Acknowledge- First, you need to acknowledge that porn is having a negative impact on your life. Say it out loud: “I can see that porn is having an impact on my life”
(What you resist, persist).
2. Process your emotion- Instead of feeding the negative self-talk and shaming yourself for using porn, name the feeling. Say it out loud: “I feel shame (or whatever you may be feeling) right now, and that’s ok”.
(You gotta name it to tame it).
3. Pause, Connect To Your Breath- By taking a couple of deep breaths and sighing as you exhale you will send more oxygen to your cells, and sound creates space in the body. With practice, you are able to feel your body and listen to what it’s trying to tell you.
(Feel it to heal it).
Be Compassionate Towards Yourself- If you forget to act on the steps above, it’s ok.
A journey of a thousand steps starts with awareness and repetition of new behaviour.
If the silent pandemic no one is talking about is affecting your life, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to comment or DM me.
Life is too short to be suffering in silence.
